Chapter 83: The Neverending Saga of Siding

April 15, 2015 • Written by Christina Berry

So…we keep putting wood on the side of the house, right? At some point you’d think we’d be done, right?

Ha! Hahaha! Hahahahahahaha!

Yeah, nope. For a relatively small house, this place is huge when it comes to covering spaces with material. *sigh*

But, we’ve made progress.

This is what it looked like before, front and back.

In this latest round of siding putting-oning, we basically had one big goal, cover everything. That Tyvek is supposed to be covered within ninety¬†days, but ours had been exposed for…well…years and years. So yeah, time to get the shit covered up.

First, we tackled the back. It was easy enough, just required some tall ladders.

Ta da!

This is easy as pie, I don’t know what I was so worried about–

Oh right, the porch.

So, for as long as I can remember, the porch ceiling has been ready for wood, but still woodless and all rafter-y. It has been called home by countless birds, bugs, and on one particularly weird night, raccoons.

Yeah, seriously. This one night Errek heard a racket so he went out to investigate and found two raccoons up in the rafters frolicking or doing whatever it is that raccoons do in rafters.

Considering the only way to access the rafters is to scale up one of the smooth steel posts, we were actually pretty impressed.

But, yeah, we were done with the whole worrying about birds nests and yellow jackets and raccoons overhead, so it was time to put the ceiling up and make the porch look more porch-like.

A totally reasonable goal, but wait, the city wants more steel. They want steel connected to the steel for a better connection between the posts and the roof.

Mmm kay, you know what this mean right?

Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!

Hehe! Cool.

Turns out denim is pretty flammable, but political campaign signs are pretty fire-retardant. But whatever, so long as we don’t scorch the porch. Hehe, scorch the porch, that rhymes.

But I digress…

Where was I? Right, porch wood…like Torchwood, but with fewer aliens. Man, can you tell I’m getting bored with blogging? I keep having to tell myself, “Self, you’re almost done, girl. Your writing is good enough, smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like it, so get your ass in gear and finish this update.”


Okay, so anyway, to put the porch ceiling up, we bought MORE wood and primed it.

Then ka-chunk, ka-chunk, we nailed that sucker up there. It’s bead board, which will have a neat old vibe to it. But, that’s perfect since I’ve always loved the idea of having a big old porch.

Then some finish out work to make the porch ‘walls’ pretty.


Now we just have to trim it out on the bottom of the porch walls…and build out the posts with wood…and make the railing…and the steps… But first, we needed to finish the basic siding stuff though, right? And there were two key areas needing attention.

First, the very top peak which you can only access from the roof. Because…sing it with me now…

Ain’t no ladder high enough!

Yeah, no joke, in order to work on this part of the house, We precariously strung up a ladder on the roof using two bits of rope that we tied to the foundation piers on either side of the house.

Then we left the country, cuz that’s just how we roll.

Pleased to announce that upon our return, no wayward door to door salesmen had been bonked on the head by the dangling ladder. And Errek was able to get up there and get the peak sided and painted and done(ish).

The other project was to finish up the soffit on the west side.

With all of that closed in, we’ll be able to finally pass the electrical final and hopefully finally move the electrical over to the new meter. *crossing fingers*

Now all we need to do is finish a few more bits of siding, putty all the nail holes, sand the whole house, prime it again, and then paint the whole damn thing.


That’s all.


Well, this brings us up to date. Currently we’re in the process of finishing more siding and also finishing out the drywall in the master bedroom. So stay tuned, in the next 12-18 months we’ll have an exciting new update.

I kid. I kid. It’ll probably be more like 24 months.